As you have probably heard, the star wide receiver of the Dallas Cowboys football team, has a pet monkey.  I’m pretty sure it is illegal to have a primate of any kind in Dallas County, but yet, this prima donna is somehow allowed to have one.  The news media seems to be thrilled to report the story of a man with his “pet” monkey using a picture of a super cute baby monkey in the arms of someone wearing a Dallas Cowboy shirt.

It is quite despicable when people, who have no business owning a wild animal, adopt wild animals.  Hello – these are not domesticated animals even though they may not have necessarily been born in the wild.  Duh.

At some point, the wild instincts of “wild” animals, even a person’s pet monkey, are going to surface.  It could be in the form of anger.  What if the monkey has Tourette Syndrome?  It’s going to get upset at some point and bite someone’s ear off or throw feces in someone’s face.  Watch out Romo!  Then the monkey will end up in some zoo or maybe better, a nice sanctuary where it is rescued.  But for now, it must live in a house with a human that is not its mother, and be held to the expectation that it might possibly be the first monkey to play football.

I will leave you with a sobering thought.  Imagine aliens have invaded earth.  Now imagine that your girlfriend, wife, sister, friend, someone you love, has been anticipating the birth of a child, suffering 9 months of pregnancy (maybe some of it in August in Texas or Arizona, somewhere really freakin’ hot), and the baby is born.  It is beautiful and cute.  The invading aliens think it is super cute, so they steal it, and sell it for bitcoins to a fellow alien so they can gas up their space camera and take stupid pictures like this ….

I have done some really hair-brained and stupid things in my life, so I know stupidity when I see it.  Someone literally took this baby monkey away from his or her mother.  A mother monkey is crying tears for her baby.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Carpe Diem to not being stupid.

Time to stop procrastinating and shake the cobwebs off of this blog.  There are simply too many of life’s questions that must be answered. Before I get to the questions, I want you to know the images are hyperlinked, just in case you feel the need to purchase, join, explore, or ask additional questions directly.

First, why are clothing retail stores trying to sell us clothes made by the Amish? I have nothing against the Amish, but I don’t think I should have to dress like one if I’m a recovering Catholic.  Lately, when I try to freshen up my wardrobe, I’m trapped between skinny pants made from curtains from The Golden Girls stage set and boxy shirts that came from a prison camp. If I wanted to wear fat clothes on top and show off palm trees on the bottom, I would live on Gilligan’s Island.

Second, why do people watch professional wrestling?  Can they be classified in one group?  My brother once said I should live in a trailer park because I enjoy watching Cops. I was obviously offended since I thought people who live in trailer parks watched pro wrestling. For my blog, I did some research and found numerous articles written on the various nuances of pro wrestling, but nothing specific about the domiciles of WWE watchers. I did learn that pro wrestling is an artistic and athletic form of entertainment that some people are completely sucked into.  For me, it’s similar to watching b-rated porno flicks. The acting is terrible and the endings are all the same.  After two minutes of research, I concluded that pro wrestling watchers are the same watchers of b-rated porn; essentially people who are unable to discern good acting in order to be entertained. It doesn’t really matter where they live at this point.

Third, why do cats always head straight for the person that doesn’t like cats? It’s simple.  If you avoid the cat and simply enjoy your visit, you are seen as the calm human, and your lap is probably soft, warm and quiet.  So if you hate cats and are visiting friends with a cat, get excited and wear burlap pants bedazzled with splinters.  As soon as the cat rubs up on your pants and you get excited, the cat will have nothing to do with you. Click on the picture to read more.

And last, why do dogs wait until there is company to lick their butts?  For the same reason as above.  When you are least expecting it and not paying attention to the dog, the dog will be comfortable enough to lick its butt in front of you!

There are many questions to be answered on this blog in the future, like “Why do people automatically zone out when they get behind the wheel of a car?” and “When Bruce Jenner finally assumes a female role, will she refer to herself in the first person?”

For now, carpe diem!