Monthly Archives: July 2011

Crazy People and More Thank You Notes from Hell!

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Times are tough for a lot of people right now, and have been for a couple of years for some.  Since there may be little relief in the immediate future, we have to concentrate on the good things.  We have to stay positive and thankful for what we do have now (not wallow in our pity about what we had or could have had).  In essence, we must keep our wits about us. 

For example, if you DO have a job, try not to run people off the road on your way to work.  Just because you are in a car does not mean you own the road.  And, although you are probably smarter than the asshole in front of you, you might want to show restraint.  For example, if someone flicks a cigarette butt out of a car window and it gets stuck under the hood of your car, be thankful for insurance.  You’re the lucky one who will get a new car after it burns up.  Or, if some asshole cuts you off, try not to run them down.  You will be thankful that they didn’t call 911 and have you arrested for road rage.

If you are unemployed, take some time to watch Cops.  You can learn a lot.  For instance, if you are going to get into a dispute with your spouse over money, be sure to wear a shirt, but NOT a “wife-beater” t-shirt.  No shirt or a “wife-beater” is an immediate sign that you will be arrested, and that can be costly.

Last, when you are in a jovial mood, please share it with everyone.  Spread good energy around and help everyone be thankful. My new slogan:  “No STD’s, just good energy please!”

And because I am in a thankful mood, here is another installment of THANK YOU NOTES FROM HELL:

1.   Thank you Casey Anthony for providing 6 plus weeks of entertainment on Headline News, CNN, Fox News, and every single online news source in the world.  You are a total nut case, but you helped me avoid gaining 10 pounds by not going to baseball games.  Instead, I came home from work every evening to endure an hour of that over-exposed Nancy Grace so I could catch up on your trial.  Now, I am the same weight as when baseball season started and I have no desire to eat a hot dog. 

2.   Thank you to the Casey Anthony jury for coming to such a speedy decision.  Not only did you put an end to a trial that went on far too long, but you swiftly kicked Nancy Grace off the top of the hill.  For that, I love you, and I hope I never see Nancy Grace again.

3.   Thank you John Boehner.  I refuse to believe the pronunciation of your name used on television is correct because without my pronunciation of your surname, I could not smile and laugh every time I read an article about party leaders in our country. 

4.   Thank you Katy Perry for turning aliens into something sexual.  I am finally interested.

5.   Thank you again to the Casey Anthony jury for a quick deliberation.  I finally have my boyfriend back.  Now I can quit listening to Katy Perry.

6.   Thank you God for this agonizing heat wave.  For once in my life, I might enjoy the winter.  (Ha, probably not.)

Send me your THANK YOU’S FROM HELL and I will post them!

 

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