Apparently for millions of men around the United States today is Christmas, or at least according to my boyfriend when he announced that yesterday, Saturday, September 12, 2009 was Christmas Eve. I already know that September 1st is the beginning of dove hunting season, and the killing of Bambis all over the US starts sometime in December (I think), so I couldn’t figure out what he meant by “Christmas.”
To celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend, I endured an entire day of screaming and tribal dancing by my boyfriend as he watched 100 football games at once and managed about 15 fantasy football leagues online. On one side of the couch was my boyfriend, 5 remotes, a laptop computer and his cell phone, which was almost on fire from texting. It was the beginning of football season, and with that comes fantasy football, the mother of all mother fantasy sports games.
Christmas, to a guy, (when it is not really Christmas) is a time when guys everywhere go to their proverbial treehouse to play their secret games. In simple terms for you ladies, “it’s a guy thing.”
On behalf of ladies around the country, I have attempted to delve into the underground world of fantasy sports, but have not advanced too far. I ask questions, watch football, peek at the computer, and act interested, but rarely do I get a glimpse into the fantasy team play that abounds and clogs up the internet on Christmas day.
I have pondered whether there are fantasy sports leagues designed for and only for women? What would we bet on? Who has the best colors on their uniforms, the cutest butt, the best mascot? I can see the magazine now, Fantasy Sports for Her! It would contain big colorful pictures of team logos next to an add for Activa yogurt. For now, girls are relegated to finding other activities outside of the house on Sundays and Monday nights. I think that is how Bunko was invented.
But today, for Christmas, I sit on one end of the couch with the dogs and the cat, and watch with a blank look on my face waiting for the light bulb to actually turn on. After a full day of watching the constant play between the cell phone, the computer and the television, I still do not get the fascination, but I guess part of it has to do with the fact that girls are not allowed.
I have to go now, I have to make fun of the cheerleaders!