Renewables – "Biostuff"

When people discuss renewable energy, like using corn for fuel, we often include a joke about using animal waste as well.  You know, putting to use the bags of dog poop you scoop, or the pastures of cow patties you think are funny.  All joking aside, and with all the incredible technology, there is such a possibility.  I have named it . . . “Biopoo.”
To figure out how to make this a reality, I conducted research on about “biomass.”  This sounds promising, and to me, is just a nicer way of saying “biopoo.”  According to Wikipedia where I did all my hard research, (and we all know how reliable that is), “biomass” is defined as living and recently dead biological material transformed into a fuel.  Can biopoo be categorized as “recently dead biological material?”  Biomass material can also be called biodegradable wastes (I think I am getting closer), which is generally converted to a solid, liquid or gas fuel, thus becoming “biofuel.”
So bio-logically, bio-fuel can be produced from any bio-logic source.  Does this mean that bio-waste is bio-poo?  Can bio-poo be used to manufacture more plastic water bottles?  Surely if we can power a vehicle using plant-derived biomass, we can figure out how to use biopoo for anything!
Further, the production and use of biopoo with reduce the amount of CO2 from the atmosphere since it is not a fossil fuel.  Seriously, have you ever heard anyone complain about all the piles of cow pool releasing greenhouse gases into the air?  What about when your neighbor’s son lit dog poo in a paper bag on fire on your door step?  Did it create a pollution problem?  
In this day and age of worrying about environmental issues like carbon footprints, holes in the ozone, diminishing oil reserves and Boone Pickens’ checkbook, I think I am onto something.  Let’s start living a “biolife” with all of our “biostuff.”  If we are living a biolife, must we give up our amenities like setting our air conditioners on 65, drinking tons of bottled water, not sorting our trash for recycling?  We don’t have time for these things!  Americans are too busy creating an oil crisis while driving our 8-cylinder SUVs to be politically correct and save the environment.  
Thus, the solution is Biopoo!  I hope the American government takes note of this great idea. Don’t waste that pile of dog pool by setting it on fire and leaving it at the doorstep of Iran, but put it to good use in creating renewable energy for Americans.

About Cynthetics

Amateur blogger and intense observer of life through warped sunglasses. In an attempt to hone my writing skills, I am having fun bringing humor and entertainment through observations of everyday experiences. Nothing is sacred!

6 responses »

  1. Cyn, you are too funny (and freaking smart) for the room. I am glad you are my friend. Oh, and Sidney said she’d like to make a donation.

  2. per a college professor in the political science class…and i quote, “Mr. Henning, wikipedia is NOT a reliable source. The liberals are too opinionated and screw the true source of information. You get an A for effort but you get a C for the lack of true sources.” Damn wikipedia!!!!! Miss you girl!!!

  3. also…i would like to read your thoughts on politics of today. specifically who you think will win the presidential election, why, and what your personal thoughts are on barack hussein obama and john mccain.

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