Uncategorized | Cynthetics

I digress from my political silliness to comment on the 2008 Summer Olympic games like only I can and because I can. First, before I get into my crazy comments about the Olympics, I should advise that I have been to Europe only once, and it was to Italy. While in Italy, I noticed a lot of shoes that were shiny silver. Not women’s shoes, but all shoes, especially high top tennis shoes for men. I’m talking about shiny silver high top tennis shoes in glass display cases all over Italy like they were pieces of a the Coliseum in Rome. I just walked around wondering who the hell would actually wear these shoes!! Well, after seeing the opening of the Olympics, I figured it out.

My top five observations of the 2008 Olympic Games on Day 2:

1. The Italian athletes all wear shiny silver tennis shoes. I knew someone had to buy those shoes!??

2. The American athletes all looked like Ralph Lauren robot clones. I had to bet my boyfriend that they were really the Americans.

3. Swimmers should not leave their goggles on their foreheads before starting a race. When they move their goggles from their forehead to their eyes, the goggles leave red circles above their eyebrows. Makes me want to take a Sharpie and color in some pupils and eyelashes so they have eyes above their eyes. This would really make people watch the swimming!

4. During the rowing, there is a group of cyclists that ride along the bank watching the rowing. I can’t wait for the cyclists to run into each other and wreck out during a rowing competition. That would really make the rowing more exiting!

5. Last, but not least, the Italians would have done great in the men’s quadruple rowing had it not been for all the gold jewelry weighing them down!

More to come. Hope you are enjoying the Olympics.

When people discuss renewable energy, like using corn for fuel, we often include a joke about using animal waste as well. You know, putting to use the bags of dog poop you scoop, or the pastures of cow patties you think are funny. All joking aside, and with all the incredible technology, there is such a possibility. I have named it . . . “Biopoo.”

To figure out how to make this a reality, I conducted research on about “biomass.” This sounds promising, and to me, is just a nicer way of saying “biopoo.” According to Wikipedia where I did all my hard research, (and we all know how reliable that is), “biomass” is defined as living and recently dead biological material transformed into a fuel. Can biopoo be categorized as “recently dead biological material?” Biomass material can also be called biodegradable wastes (I think I am getting closer), which is generally converted to a solid, liquid or gas fuel, thus becoming “biofuel.”

So bio-logically, bio-fuel can be produced from any bio-logic source. Does this mean that bio-waste is bio-poo? Can bio-poo be used to manufacture more plastic water bottles? Surely if we can power a vehicle using plant-derived biomass, we can figure out how to use biopoo for anything!

Further, the production and use of biopoo with reduce the amount of CO2 from the atmosphere since it is not a fossil fuel. Seriously, have you ever heard anyone complain about all the piles of cow pool releasing greenhouse gases into the air? What about when your neighbor’s son lit dog poo in a paper bag on fire on your door step? Did it create a pollution problem?

In this day and age of worrying about environmental issues like carbon footprints, holes in the ozone, diminishing oil reserves and Boone Pickens’ checkbook, I think I am onto something. Let’s start living a “biolife” with all of our “biostuff.” If we are living a biolife, must we give up our amenities like setting our air conditioners on 65, drinking tons of bottled water, not sorting our trash for recycling? We don’t have time for these things! Americans are too busy creating an oil crisis while driving our 8-cylinder SUVs to be politically correct and save the environment.

Thus, the solution is Biopoo! I hope the American government takes note of this great idea. Don’t waste that pile of dog pool by setting it on fire and leaving it at the doorstep of Iran, but put it to good use in creating renewable energy for Americans.