Today, I just happen to read the newspaper where the stories seemed to be more annoying than usual. And like most people, there are days where I just can’t believe what is happening in the world. And, like most intelligent people, we have views and opinions about life in general. That is not to say we tell each other how we should live, but there are times when we want to! Since we all have those days where we are taken aback by stupid people and weird world events, I offer you an opportunity to let it all out without retribution. Here are a few topics that I was unfortunate to read about, especially when it came at me as a full-page newspaper ad.

1. Bristol Palin – Abstinence Spokesperson — Really??? Her ex-boyfriend was quoted on Good Morning America saying something like “it will never work.” I think he is right. There are pros and cons about the situation. On one hand, there is now an 18 year old beautiful girl telling other teen girls that having a baby is not easy! On the other hand, you have an 18 year old beautiful girl being carted around the country by her daddy and corporate sponsors to preach about abstinence . . . after the fact. Basically, do something stupid and become famous! Any comments?

2. David Feherty – CBS Sports golf analyst made an unfunny. He is known in the sports world for his quick wit, I guess. But apparently he recently wrote an unfortunate passage in a D Magazine article that drew the ire of U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. I delete extraneous information in my quote:

” . . . if you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Osama bin Laden, there’s a good chance that Nancy would get shot twice, and Harry and bin Laden would be strangled to death.”

Apparently nobody laughed at this but me, even though I am a fan of Nancy Pelosi. Mr. Feherty has been a huge supporter of the troops, even visiting them on Thanksgiving in Iraq more than once. He has apologized for his comment. Did we lose our sense of humor in the 21st century? What is your thought?

3. Lobbyists, Lawyers and Detail Men – The lobby group seems to be taking a beating more than usual lately. Everyone thinks they are evil, and maybe they are a nose ahead of lawyers in the race to hell. However, I like to compare lobbyists to detail men. Detail men are the people that sell pharmaceuticals to doctors. They are the really attractive men and women that come into the doctor’s office with plates of cookies and rolling bags full of drugs while you sit in the waiting room watching the clock. I am not a cheerleader for big pharmaceutical companies, but without these people, the doctor would have no idea what the new drugs do and how they can help (whether they are good or not). So, in some respects, they are a necessary evil. You don’t want eye drops if you have hemmorhoids! Lobbyists have a similar utility. They are necessary because there is no way hundreds of legislators can possibly understand the purpose and consequences of thousands of bills. And with respect to lawyers, there is no way many of us would blaze our way through the judicial system without them. Questions, comments?

4. Last – The Easter Bunny – real or fake? I’m a devout believer, even though I did not get a big chocolate bunny this year. Maybe I doubted one too many times? How about you? Don’t be an Easter Bunny hater.

Now, it’s your turn. Can’t wait to read your comments. Just click on the envelope at the end of the article and you can leave your comment anonymously. Let it all out!

What’s so great about having my very own blog is I can change it up any time I want to, just like my hair, clothes, furniture layout . . .. And in an effort to always keep things interesting, change is important. This principle applies to any area of life. And, I would not have this blog if it were not for the excruciatingly slow moments in my life that I should be thankful for. I’m more thankful about the ability to change my underwear when I want. (Inside joke that only my mother would get).

Other than the internet, three newspapers, and some cheesy wall hangings, there is nothing interesting in my office. But for some reason when a man walks in the door, they find this office extremely interesting. They look at me, and then their eyes are immediately diverted to the corner of the room. Their faces light up and they stand up taller with a gaping mouth. Once their brains begin to register again, they exclaim, “Wow, that is cool!” And Vinny, don’t deny it, you did the exact same thing. No, it’s not a picture of a centerfold.

What makes all the men giddy when they visit is a very old, cracked, dried out Wooden Indian. (See picture below). I have yet to figure out the attraction. Women see him as a big waste of space, including me since my desk is right next him. He has not started talking to me yet, so I see no need for him to hang around.

Therefore, in an effort to make the day more lively, I offer to sell him every time a man comments on the great Wooden Indian in the office. I have been told that this would be a grave mistake and its owner does not want to part from him. I figured if the price is right, he won’t mind. There was a delivery guy that actually considered the sale. I couldn’t believe it. Now, each time I attempt to sell him the price goes up. It’s well over $5,000. Recently, I took a peek at eBay’s offerings of wooden indians. There were only two that measured up. He is about 7′ tall you know. They were priced from $1,800 to $2,400. The Wooden Indian that peers over me all day is much nicer looking too.

I can’t wait for the day that the owner walks in as the Wooden Indian is being wheeled off on a dollie as I enjoy the zeros written on a big fat check. Maybe then we can actually get a scanner for the office. Any takers?